Sex vs Society

January 25, 2018

Today's society is just a "click" away from anything you could desire from sex to luxury. We truly can have it all but at what point does it become opposite of our intentions? Sex. Between smartphones and social media there truly isn't too much that is considered to be off bounds or a mystery to the human eye. What used to be considered something that was held out until marriage is now given up so freely upon desire with carelessness. 

Let's take the first facts of this article back to science and decode why having sex too early can be destructive contrary to most people's opinions who say " If we have sex tonight it won't change my thoughts of you.. I like you." however how foolish are we to go against what chemical reaction actually takes place once we cum. 

When humans have sex there are three main neuro-hormones that are released for men and women and a fourth just for men predominately. These hormones impact the way our bodies behave and influence of our thought process without our realization. The first hormone is called Dopamine or known also as the "feel good chemical." This is the chemical in the brain that affects our emotions and movements to pleasure and pain. Only about 0.3% of the brain's millions of neurons produce this. To sum it up, Dopamine is responsible for rewarding and the drive behind motivation. You say to your body that you are tired and would like a coffee so Dopamine gives you the motivation to get up and go reward yourself with that coffee you have been desiring. 

The second is Serotonin which can be described easiest as a feeling of serenity and almost a state of a high. It is the lingering pleasure sensation we get that is less intense than dopamine but nonetheless a powerful driver for our behaviours. Serotonin is about feeling good.. incredibly good to be exact. Drugs that alter Serotonin levels have important clinical uses such as the treatment of depression, nausea and migraines. It is no wonder why having sex on a regular basis makes your days that much better and takes away some of the day to day stresses in life!

The third neuro-hormone that men and women share is called Oxytocin. This hormone has many nicknames but it's most common is "the hug hormone" and that is because it makes us want to do just that. When this chemical is released it is the driving force behind humans needing that time to cuddle or have affection. It makes men and women come together after sex and the most common reason for men to complaining "All she wants to do is cuddle after sex." Well men, there is your explanation to why women seem "needy" after sex however we are no more in control of the release of that hormone as we are to the sun rising! Now with that being said some levels of Oxytocin are higher in some individuals compared to others which is a reason that some people can simply roll over and go to sleep right after sex without any urge for human contact. 

Now it is time for the last chemical left in the equation. It is responsible for that knight in shining armour mentality and the reason why some may even get possessive. The culprit to blame goes by the name of Vasopressin which coincidentally earned its nickname "the protection drug." Vasopressin is produced in the brain by both men and women however the male hormone "testosterone" enhances the effect of vasopressin which leads to men feeling a strong affect. Vasopressin kicks in after sexual activity and its impact is to heighten a man's sense of responsibility. Isn't it amazing what our bodies are capable of and all of the functions that goes into the simplest acts!

In 2006 to 2010 researchers tracked the relationship trajectories of 18 to 39 year olds by pulling data from the National Survey of Family Growth of 2,744 couples. They were either in relationships or entering one from the first time they had sex and the conclusion of the results were that unless a couple had established a mutual respect and desire on a deeper level at the start then within six months the couples who hadn't were already moving on or had ended things. Sex can really muddy those waters fast by moving too quickly cant it? All of the studies I've come across point that way but then you get the ones who are the "exceptions" that fall into play as well. Every once in awhile two people end up just clicking and seem to move right into the steps of life and never leave. Believe me... this couple will make sure you hear their story about how they stumbled upon each other at an airport and look at them now! Two years later they are happily married with a little baby on the way. That couple however is the exception and not the every day case because let's take a moment to be honest here. If you two sleep with each other right away then the following is likely to happen: You will most likely get a rush and high of wanting to tear that person's clothing right off their body. You will most likely have fulfilment for that time period of being close and connecting (which you may thank Serotonin for) and really who does not like having sex because the majority of the population walking around crave it subconsciously. You may also experience what I do and that is sensation of disconnection. Once engaging in sex with someone the chase is gone and that feeling of wanting, desiring and the curiosity is extinguished completely if I have not taken the time to truly get to know the person. 

All in all sex is one of the most habitual and rawest acts we take part in for most of our life. I can list as many facts taken from science and studies conducted from years of research however what it comes down to is that sex does change a relationship of any kind and it can be for the best or the worst but we have no way of knowing until that act happens.




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